Thou Shall Break Generational Curses

There is no such thing as the perfect family. Every family has their issues. What makes a family thrive and survive is the way those problems are handled. Not everyone has had the priviledge of growing up in a household devoid of dysfunction. I know I sure didn't. My poor family had more issues than the Southern Living magazine and we didn't handle them very well. When I decided to have my own family I knew I had to put Commandment #6 Thou Shall Break Generational Curses into play.

Growing up infidelity plagued both sides of my family. Having multiple partners or stepping out on their spouses was the norm for my male relatives. In a family dominated by males women weren't valued and were treated as objects to be used and discarded. As a result many of the women in my family do not value themselves and tolerate the use and abuse that is rendered to them. I can say this was my problem for many years. That is why I tolerated my child's father's behavior for so long. I was essentially groomed for a man just like him. My up bringing was also the root cause of me never respecting a man either.

When I moved back to South Carolina six months after giving birth I was under the illusion that my family had changed over the years. I hadn't been in contact with anyone except my father for three years. I made the mistake of thinking because I knew and wanted better that they desired the same thing. WRONG! Everything was just as it was when I was growing up. I couldn't believe it. Do people ever change? I felt as if I jumped out of the frying pan into the fire. I took me and my daughter from the situation with her father into an equally destructive one with my family. The insults and verbal abuse were still prevalent. One day my father yelled and cussed at me while I was holding Sienna. She started to cry. I thought to myself, I'm 28 years old and a mother. I don't have to take this crap anymore! I didn't want my daughter to grow up the way that I did. So nine months after moving back to my hometown I packed up and moved without notice two hours away to a town where I didn't know anyone. I didn't even tell my family I was leaving.

The move proved to be very beneficial. Without having someone there to fall back on I had to learn to trust God. There were many obstacles I had to overcome. Raising a baby alone without any help was more than challenging. I developed strength, character, and learned to trust my own instincts. I may have been 28 years old chronologically but I was really a lot younger than that mentally. I was forced to grow up. I stumbled a long the way. I made mistakes. Mistakes that my over protective father didn't allow me to make when I was younger. You can't shield your children from the world.

Sienna and I lived in that town for seven years. In that time frame I built stable and healthy friendships with women and men. I got to know myself and others. More importantly I got to know God and was able to see what He could do in my life. I became a first time homeowner and still have that home to this day. My daughter grew up in a stable environment that was filled with love. The experiences gained were exactly what I needed. No Sienna doesn't have the benefit of growing with up with my side of her family but that is perfectly ok. She knows who they are and loves them just the same. I do not speak ill of them. I actually communicate with and visit some of my siblings. For the ones that I don't we have a mutual understanding that we live different lifestyles. My daughter will not grow up thinking that just because someone is family you need to tolerate their shenanigans. There are plenty of difficult people in the world from which she can learn life's lessons from. A dysfunctional family doesn't need to make a contribution.

In Genesis 12:1-4 The Lord told Abram (Abraham) "Leave your country and your people. Leave your father's family. Go to the land I will show you. I will make you a great nation. I will bless you. I will make your name great. You will be a blessing to others. I will bless those who bless you. I will put a curse on anyone who brings down a curse on you. All nations on earth will be blessed because of you." This scripture sums up the story of my life. I do not regret the time I did not spend with my family. It was essential for my growth. I currently live in a city now in which I have no family. But I have a wonderful God fearing best friend who is like a sister to me. Proverbs 18:24 says a friend sticks closer than a brother and that is true because sometimes all you share with family is DNA.

****Next Week Commandment #7 Thou Shall Communicate****