Saturday, January 2, 2016

The War Within (Throwback 2010)

   

How many times have you had the following conversation(s) with yourself: I can’t handle that kind of responsibility. What if I mess up? I don’t deserve this. That is too good to be true. What if I get rejected? Conversations like this are what I call “dream killers”. At times I find myself entertaining such rhetoric and chances are some of you do to. This negative inner dialogue often leads to unconscious self sabotaging behaviors that are driven by fear.

Have you ever desired a promotion but never took the necessary steps to become a candidate? Or even worse have you ever been up for review for a promotion but then did something to cause your dream to slip away? For instance showing up to work late or not completing assignments on time. If this has ever happened to you just think back to what your deep seated feelings surrounding that promotion really were. Did you have the thought that the position was a bit too much for you? Did you feel undeserving?

Another area in life in which self sabotaging behavior occurs is in relationships. Have you ever desired to be in a long term committed relationship and when the opportunity presented itself you started finding fault with your partner and started doing things to tear down the relationship so that a break up was inevitable. Looking back, I must admit that I am guilty of this. My actions were definitely driven by fear. Fear that my love interests were too good to be true and I refused to be hurt again. So I would end things with them before it was too late. As a result I let some good people slip out of my life.

Recently I have realized that my inner saboteur has been at work in my home ownership endeavors. I have always desired to be a home owner. My excuse for years was that I didn’t know where I wanted to live. A year ago I decided that Columbia was the place and I still have not taken the steps to buying a home. Why? Because I am afraid. Plain and simple. My newest excuse is I have one income and a child. A lot of people are losing their homes these days and it’s frightening. Also when I hear the horror stories of costly plumbing expenses, A/C or heating repair costs, etc I tuck my tail and place my dream on the back burner. The fears that plague my mind are manifesting themselves in the following ways: I am dragging my feet as far as pulling my credit reports, missing out on going to first time home owner seminars, whenever I see my down payment savings growing I tell myself I work hard and I deserve a vacation. I engage in sure fire behaviors that are not going to get me into a home. All because of fear. What if I don’t get approved for the loan? Can I manage a mortgage and all the responsibility that comes with home ownership? I really don’t want my dream as bad I as I say I do.

God did not give us the spirit of fear (See 2 Timothy 1:7). This is something that we must remember in all areas of our lives. He gives us desires for good things and he wants us to achieve them. It is the enemy’s job to discourage us so that we do not reach our maximum potential. Your inner saboteur are just tricks of Satan. And it is easy to silence him. How? Replace the negative thoughts with positive ones and watch your behaviors change. A few weeks ago in The Zone and Harbor Town we learned that we must think on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable (Philippians 4:8).
Is it your desire to lose weight but you are fearful that you may gain it all back? Don’t let that stop you from trying. Is it your desire to go back to school but you are afraid that you will not get accepted? Don’t let that stop you either. You do not know what you can do until you try. Remember that we can do all things through Jesus who gives us the strength (Philippians 4:13).