Parenting With A Healthy Self Esteem

As parents we want what is best for our children. Some of us break our backs trying to afford the best clothing, education, and gadgets. I have even had a parent tell me how rich their child is going to be when they die due to the amount of life insurance they have. I used to think that all of the above things were necessary for Sienna to be happy and healthy; but as always God changed my way of thinking. Other than The Word of God, the most important thing I can impart unto my daughter is self esteem. Some of you may not have had to suffer from poor self-esteem and this topic may be foreign to you. However, chances are that you know someone who does. Hopefully this will help you understand them better.

Growing up my father always compared me to one of my older brothers. I don’t think any harm was meant. He just wanted me to do and be my very best. Unfortunately he had an unhealthy way of ensuring it. The comparison to a sibling of the opposite sex along with other childhood events had damaging effects and my self esteem suffered as a result. There were many days in which I never felt “good enough”. I was unsure as to who I was and who I needed to be. For years I sought my identity in things and misguided relationships. Deep in my heart I knew that something was wrong. I felt hollow and lifeless. I was just going through the motions and I was really miserable. Believe me when I tell you, hurting people hurt people. Sometimes I was aware of it, most of the time I was not.

Only a few people dared to tell me the truth about myself. I was often told to “grow up” and that I was “selfish”. I was even told that I thought I was better than everyone else. At that time I wrote them off as haters, in retrospect they were right. I had an over inflated ego to compensate for my low self esteem and I did not even know it. Romans 12:3 says that we should never think more highly of ourselves. It is hard to see your true self when you don’t like what you see. I spent the majority of my adult life trying fill voids and seeking the approval of people who did not even matter in the grand scheme of things. In my office I stumbled upon a poem by Mother Theresa that ended by saying “You see in the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” If only I had known this years ago; but then again if I did I would not be who I am today. I am so thankful for God’s emotional healing. Without it I would not be able to show Sienna what it means to love and respect herself. It is imperative that she knows that she was created in God’s image (Genesis 1:27).

When I stand before God on the day of judgment I believe that I will not only be asked what did I do with my life (Romans 14:12). I think I will be asked what did I do with the life that God entrusted in my care and that is the life of my child. Are you prepared to answer that question? Maybe you do not have daughters. Perhaps you have sons. Their self esteem is just as important. Loving God and themselves is just as important as learning how to hunt, fish, or fight. Who do you think grows up and marries the little girls?
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