What Is Your Message?

The other day I was listening to my big little brother Jay Mayo on the Right To Real Love podcast. In this particular episode  (Click Here) he had a phenomenal guest speaker named J. Patrick Wise. He had so much wisdom to share about being single, his last name is "Wise" for a reason I tell you. The insights he shared were amazing. There was a part in the show when he said "Our children are our message to the future." This phrase sums up how I starting parenting when Jesus changed my life. I could never find words to describe how I feel about my calling as a mother. This says it all. Raising a child of God is something I am very passionate about. It makes me excited to know there are fathers and future fathers out there who feel the same way.

It seems the number of people around me having children because "time is running out", to keep a man/woman, or for any other reasons except the right ones are increasing. I am also discovering that so many of us are not intentional with our parenting and are too casual about this important assignment. I don't profess to be an expert nor am I knocking anyone's choices. Trust me when I say that I don't have it all together. I get it wrong sometimes but when I do the Holy Spirit is quick to correct me or call my attention to a hidden issue. That is why we must pray and spend time with God.

When my mom found out I was pregnant she was upset that I was bringing a child into this chaotic world. She asked why was I doing it. My response to her was, "Ma, we need more good people in this world. Why should I let the world stop me from bringing a good life to this place." When I'm driving alone I often think about what type of adult Sienna is going to be. I envision this intelligent, strong, beautiful young lady who is on fire for Jesus. My child is like an arrow in the hand of a warrior (Psalm 127:4). She will do great things to further God's Kingdom work. That is my message to the future.

So, what is your message? I hope it's a good one. I pray that it is something big. Make a statement for God! It's so easy to feel as if the future isn't a bright one, especially with the state of the world today. However, we  have the power to change the future and it starts with our children.

It Will Be Worth The Wait

A few months ago I was shopping for office furniture I had to have for my new job. Having a home based office requires more than a dining room table and chair and I was on a shoe string budget and was strapped for cash. Lucky for me I have no problems buying things second hand, I was blessed to find a plush office chair and a shelving system with a drawer for only $15. All that was missing was a desk. After spending a few days stalking thrifts stores and yard sales I found a couple of desks but they were either out of my price range or I had to cart it home myself. Physical strength and a truck are not things I am blessed with so I had to pass on the desks. Time was of the essence though I didn't lose hope I was a little anxious.

Reluctantly I went to a local furniture store and found what I thought was the perfect desk for me. It was just the right size for my room and my car, had extra shelves and was in my price range. Sold! I think not. It missed fitting in the trunk of my car by literally a half an inch. I couldn't believe it. The desk was perfect and I didn't know anyone I could call with a truck to pick it up for me. When the three men at the store realized I was at their mercy (so they thought) they immediately tried to swindle me. The manager told me their delivery fee was $70. I told him no thanks. The desk was priced at $45. Who was he trying to play? I wanted to tell him what he could do with that desk but I am a changed woman. The next guy said that he delivers after hours to make extra money and could bring it to my house which was less than 5 miles away. Don't get me wrong I am the last person to look for an handout or anything for free. So I knew it would come with a price. I was thinking $20. This guy must have bumped his head when he said $55 for delivery. I told them all no thanks and got out of there.

As I drove home I was upset but it wasn't about me not getting the desk. I was upset about how the men tried to take advantage of me. Had I been desperate I would have jumped at the opportunities that were presented to me. When I got home I sat on the couch and prayed. I couldn't believe this is the state of our world, especially the men. Are they not supposed to be protectors? I then thought about Sienna and prayed that God would give her a "God man"...an Ephesians 5 man. It's never too early to pray for your child's spouse. I don't want her to follow in all of my footsteps. Yes I have a great life but being a single mom with a divorce under her belt is not what I want for my kid. I want her to have better and make better choices than I did.

After my talk with God he led me to Craigslist and there it was! A desk better than the one I saw at the store and it was $20 cheaper. I called and asked if it was still available. It was and they had no problems delivering it to me. I jumped in my car and met him and his wife at the storage unit. Before I left I did text my best friend to let her know my whereabouts just in case something happened to me. You can't be too careful these days. When I arrived he and his wife were there, they followed me back to my home, set up my desk, I paid and they left. What was the grand total you ask? A whopping $45! You can't beat God.

How many times in life do we think we have found the right person, job, etc and we hit a roadblock? How do you react when that happens? Do you go to The Father for clarity? Do you try to find a hidden meaning to what is happening below the surface? God's delays are not always a definite "No". Sometimes they are, "Not right now child because I have someone/something better for you." Proverbs 19:21 says "Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."

The Outpour of Blessings

Making good grades always came naturally for me. I prided myself on my being an excellent reader. I was far ahead of the rest of my classmates. I received many accolades for my achievements and was inducted into honor societies in different grades. My dad is a genius, I'm not kidding, and my mother is no slow leak either. I was blessed with brilliant parents. Education and smarts were stressed so much in my home my dad always told me to make sure I had kids with a smart man so that my kids would be intelligent. Sienna's dad is a very smart man. I chose wisely on that. You can only imagine the confusion I felt when my daughter began to struggle in school.
When helping Sienna with her homework I would lose my patience as I silently compared her to myself at that age. It was frustrating no doubt for the both of us. I dreaded the evenings as my baby girl struggled to read and comprehend. So many thoughts ran through my mind. I just couldn't do it so I hired a tutor.

Finding a tutor for my child is just as nerve racking as finding a babysitter. I don't want any and everybody sowing into her life. And let's not talk about the financial aspect of it all. Private tutors don't run cheap. So you can only imagine the joy I felt when I found a retired teacher who offered very reasonable prices and was close to my home. I scheduled an appointment immediately.

When we went for the interview everything seemed fine. No red flags went up but I am no fan of leaving my little girl alone with strangers so I would sit outside his office door in the waiting area. This occurred two nights a week for almost month. As time went on I noticed the tutor was running late each session and didn't apologize for his excessive tardiness. I am stickler for time so after a few violations I politely said something. It was then I saw the true nature of the man within. Honestly I had noticed the evening before that he had made snarky remarks to one of the parents. He didn't know I was there. So when he got mad with me I wasn't surprised. I promptly let him know his services weren't needed anymore and that he could keep the tuition that I had paid him in advance.

This conversation took place in front of Sienna who was no doubt shocked at his behavior and disappointed by the fact she was no longer going to be tutored. It was at that moment I taught her that R-E-S-P-E-C-T is more than just an Aretha Franklin song but a way of life. I allowed her to dissect the interactions between the tutor and I and to tell me what she thought. She was right on the money. He was rude and wrong. After we got through that teachable moment she asked, "Mom what are we gonna do?" I told her we were gonna trust God because He knows what we need. In Matthew 6:25-26 Jesus tells us not to worry about our lives. God takes care of the sparrows and if He watches over them then will He do that much more for his children.

One day I received a letter from the school stating Sienna was going to receive FREE tutoring at her school twice a week! I couldn't believe it but then again I could because that is how my Father works. He never lets me go without. Sometimes I feel like I'm his favorite. No more rushing home to eat dinner to get to the tutor late in the evening. Our schedule is back to normal, Sienna's grades have picked back up, just in time for report cards next week. More important her father has become active in her life again and I know that it is God. I truly see a change in that man. He has been helping her over the phone with her homework and listens to her read some nights. I am truly thankful for this turn around in our lives. I can't wait to see what else is in store for us. Praises to The Most High God!

Kids Say The Darndest Things

The other day one of my twitter friends (I hate the term followers) tweeted that her son said she would be a better mom if she didn't make him read books. I responded with a tweet of how Sienna told me she wished she had a better mom. We both laughed at how kids think they know what constitutes a "good/better" mom.

I know my child sounded pretty ungrateful and bratty. Some of you are probably even wondering what my response was. Well, we were going through a critical point in our lives. Sienna was still reeling from the break up of her father and I. For her to say that it was truly out of character. So I was sure to give her some grace by saying, "I want you to have a better mom too. That's why I pray and ask God to help me everyday." I didn't say it in a harsh tone. I was quite calm because I was exhausted and didn't have the strength to fuss. Besides the Bible says a kind word turns away anger (Proverbs 15:1) This is true because the conversation did not go any further from there.

Has your child ever critiqued your parenting skills? Better yet has your child ever said something to you that made you question yourself as a mother. I must admit it hurt me to hear Sienna say that even though I know I am an awesome mom. I knew she was hurting deep inside and that was her way of expressing it. It was important for me to handle the situation with care. So I went to my bed and cried to God for his direction and comfort.

The next time you get down about your parenting decisions ask yourself: Do I look to the interest of what's best for my child? Is my child relatively happy and healthy for the most part? Are we growing as a family in Christ? If you have answered "yes" to these three questions then you can rest easy. Don't worry about the the decisions you have made that may not have panned out. Move forward and remember there is no condemnation for them who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).

Thou Shall Teach The Word

Recently I had the pleasure of learning that Valen, the son of one my blog readers Corina, was baptized this past Saturday. She shared with me that Valen's biological father (her ex) is an Atheist while she is a Christian. It was decided when he was born that Valen would choose his own faith. At the age of 11 he chose to be baptized as a Christian! This a perfect example of Parenting Commandment #10 Thou Shall Teach The Word.

I am so happy I delayed writing a post on this commandment. Though I had it all figured out in my mind which of my stories I would share; I just hadn't time to post it. I was starting to feel bad because I knew my readers were expecting a new post. However, I am so glad that I didn't have time or else I would've missed the opportunity to share Valen's good news!

Though Corina is now married to a wonderful man, Valen's father still has some influence in his life. Corina's son is well aware of his father's beliefs and could have easily wanted to be like him. Don't all little boys want to be like their dad? One would think that a child would grow up confused by having parents with two totally different views on God. That is not the case here because Corina parents by Commandment #9 Thou Shall Live Authentically. She not only teaches her son The Word of God but she lives it in her daily life. Valen is able to clearly see a distinct difference between the lives of his mother and biological father.

I'm not saying that his father lives a bad life but for all of us believers we know and understand what life is like when you are walking with Jesus and when you are not. I do believe that Valen made an informed decision to choose Jesus Christ as his personal savior because of the life he has seen his mother live before him.

When I was a hospice nurse one of my patients told me that her favorite scripture was "Nothing gives me greater joy than to know my children are walking in the way"-3 John 1:4. At that time I wasn't a parent but I thought it was sweet. It wasn't until my own child committed her life to Christ on March 23, 2014 that that scripture took on a whole new meaning.

As I read Cori's email I cried tears of joy. I could feel her excitement. I know that feeling all too well. I am sure as a mother she gets comfort in knowing that her son has a relationship with God that will sustain him for the rest of his life. The Bible says we should train a child up in the way he should go and when he is old he won't part from it (Proverbs 22:6).

Can You Really Forgive and Forget?

I can't even begin to express my gratitude for all of you who read/follow my blog. I want to share with you an opportunity that I had to be a guest speaker on Right to Real Real Love Radio. This episode is on forgiveness. Please click the link and enjoy. Your feedback and you sharing your experiences would be appreciated. The final parenting commandment will be posted later in the week. Be blessed!
http:/righttoreallove.com/forgive-and-forget/

Thou Shall Live An Authentic Life

I've never been one to participate on social media until recently. Though I'm an extrovert and will open up under the right settings and conditions I like to keep my life pretty private. If you have a child like mine all of that can go out of the window in one conversation. Commandment #9 Thou Shall Live Authentically will surely help you survive those moments.

Sienna is a happy go lucky child who loves to talk and share. Not only does she like to share what's going on in her world but she shares what's happening in mine. My little one never says anything inappropriate and she doesn't reveal deep family issues that she may be privy to. However, she doesn't hesitate to talk openly about the things she finds funny or interesting.

My latest encounter with my daughter "putting me on blast" was at her friend's birthday party. I walked her inside, introduced myself, and went back to my car for a webinar. While I was attending my meeting Sienna was being the life of the party. She had her audience captivated and I was about to have details of my life put on front street (Luke 12:3).

When I returned to the party I was greeted with, "Congratulations! We hear you're getting married." To say I was caught off guard would be an understatement. I was blown for a loop. I responded cheerfully, "I'm not getting married. I don't even have a man." One of the moms was quick to tell me that Sienna said that I told her I was waiting for God to send me a husband and that he was on his way. When I heard that I thanked God that I was no longer a person who lived a reckless life.

As the party continued another mom told me that they have learned so much about me through my child. Had someone said this to me 5 years ago I would've been worried. Change is possible! I'm doing what is right and no longer have anything to hide. I stopped acting a certain way around a group of people and then switched out when I was around another group. God's Word says in James 1:8 that a double minded individual is an unstable one...indeed I was.

We should always strive to set an example by doing good and to show integrity and seriousness in everything that we do (Titus 2:7) "Everything" includes what is done in private as well as public. Do I always get it right? Of course not. But I don't always get it wrong either. There are times I slip up and say a word or two that's not pleasing to God but my over all life style is Godly and full of integrity.

What are you teaching your child(ren) about living an authentic life? Do you tell them not to let visitors/callers know that you are home when you really are? What seems like little white lies lay the foundation of dishonesty in their lives. Do you put on fronts for the public when you're really a nightmare behind closed doors? When our kids see us acting this way it gives them the green light. Sometimes you can't blame a child who acts picture perfect around the house but gets wild when they're with their peers. They only mimic what they see.